Sunset Burnout

In my work with non-profits we used the term sunset when it was time to stop a program. Now is the time to sunset burnout. 🌄

We took off leaving Tokyo for Hong Kong at 3:30pm. The horizon as we headed West was illuminated by bright coral, gold, and blue colors ranging from a pale light shade to deep royal blue transitioning to the darkness of night. This display continued for more than three hours as we flew toward the display.

Longest lasting sunset, ever!

It reminded me of how we can sometimes chase something in the distance. No matter how far we go, some destinations remain out of reach.

When we fail to appreciate the beauty along the way, the sun will set and night will come.

We can be disappointed we never reached the the perfect spot to enjoy a sunset. Or, we can feel grateful for the inspiration it gave us along our journey.

The shimmering lights in the distance – a new car, promotion, dream vacation, designer handbag, luxury watch – inspire our daily actions.

It’s the everyday moments with our loved ones, enjoying a good meal, admiring nature, a productive day, or a great workout that feed our souls. Our daily pleasures and habits also give us routines to help us on the hard days when the sparkly goals we strive for seem completely unattainable.

On that flight I read three Blinks. (Blinkist is one of my favorite apps! It summarizes the content of a book more quickly.)

In Mind Magic by James R. Doty introduces the neuroscience of manifestation. It’s been practiced by most major religions for centuries because it works. When we’re stuck in patterns of negative self-talk and pessimism we have the power to change how we feel and what happens to us!

Eeyores can become Tiggers with practice. 🫏🐅

Reading the Blink for Stillness is the Key by Ryan Holiday was a powerful reminder to unplug and appreciate quiet and beauty. It shared how President Kennedy solved the Cuban Missile Crisis by ignoring his advisors, instead demonstrating restraint and wisdom by stepping away from the problem.

The Art of Clear Thinking by Hasard Lee introduced the air force strategy – ACE Helix, assess, choose, execute. Intriguingly the fighter pilots move through these steps in moments to save lives. There are many lessons here about quickly considering the alternatives and potential outcomes before deciding and taking action when faced with a problem to solve or decision to make.

Traveling from our home near Washington, DC to the tenth country of our six-week around the world honeymoon I’m reflective of what I’ve experienced and learned.

As we approach Hong Kong, I am also distraught by what I have witnessed in every location – people are exhausted. They are sleeping on buses, trains, asleep in restaurants, and immediately falling asleep on airplanes. Humans across the globe are also absorbed in their phones and missing out on human connection and inner exploration that creates self-awareness.

Prior to this trip I falsely believed burnout and distraction were American epidemics. I hoped other countries were focused on wellness, family, rest, and peace.

The pace of human society is making all of us ill, shortening our lifespans, stealing our joy, and killing the planet. How do we stop and slow down?

I understand many people are unable to slow down or appreciate the quiet as described in Stillness is the Key.

Maybe that inability to simply be is one of our greatest challenges as humans?

We like to be doing and accomplishing. It helps us feel worthy. Would we be better simply being? Could we know and believe we are truly worthy exclusively by our existence?

In every city I saw tour guides on buses picking up tourists at their hotels at 8am for all day excursions that returned at 11pm. I learned they work this pace seven days a week! What time did they wake up to be at work? When do they see their loved ones? When do they wash their laundry?

I saw business men sleeping at their desks in Tokyo at 9pm on Christmas Eve.

The city streets of Hanoi, Vietnam had small children selling candy, and notes posted persuading tourists not to buy it because it would discourage the youngsters from continuing their education.

Numerous independent business owners of souvenir shops and restaurants were open early and remained open with the same family staff working late into the night.

Hustle culture has spread and everyone is chasing something.

Except Madrid. In this Spanish city businesses appeared to decide their operating hours haphazardly.

Good for them!!

The restaurant we walked to for dinner had a hand written note that they were closed to spend time with family.

Coffee shops didn’t follow their published hours. It was very refreshing, only slightly annoying, and reminded me of simpler times from my childhood when this was the norm in my suburban Pittsburgh neighborhood.

It wouldn’t have been annoying at all if these establishments set their hours, published them, and stuck to them. If they can make enough to support their lifestyle by opening for one hour on Tuesdays, why work additional hours?

What if we just slowed down like the Spanish? Could we assess the situation like a fighter pilot, understand the risks far outweigh the rewards, and immediately change our course? Could we be happier?

Humans are animals. What other animal works as hard as we do? My lazy cats and spoiled corgi certainly don’t subscribe to hustle culture.

I don’t have any simple answers.

I see the problem.

I observe it from a family history of one uncle dead by forty, another in his early fifties, and my mom before her sixtieth birthday. All three of them worked too hard to focus on their physical health, spent too few hours simply being, and savoring the good.

I observe success through the lense of a girl who grew up admiring the “success” of another uncle who owned his own medical practice.

Riding in his red Lamborghini in the early 90’s as a young preteen fixed my desire to achieve financial independence. Yet neither his three homes, four children, car and wine collections, nor a boat in the Florida Keys prevented him from choosing to end his own life. After retirement he died by suicide before his 65th birthday too, and his youngest son followed in his footsteps a few years later. (Read Suicide Note.)

Getting there doesn’t always get you there.

I’m on a mission to live differently, and many days it feels like I’m the only one.

How do we universally agree to a #4DayWeek? How do we pay everyone enough to live abundantly on that income? How do we learn to say when, and stop?

Is enough actually enough?

I believe it is and am working to define enough for myself. I hope radical worldwide transformation is possible. It is certainly achievable on an individual level, and requires thinking and behaving differently than most people. Living differently takes confidence and can be a lonely road until you find like-minded enthusiasts.

It’s hard to do.

Traveling I see so many designer brands – Chanel, Gucci, Rolex, Cartier. These luxury products are the goal of many.

I also noticed a plethora of knockoffs.

Marketing and comparison brainwash us to think labels matter. Traveling taught me how truly easy it is to acquire these status symbols. My lived experience taught me how worthless financial success and material possessions are for our happiness.

Yes, we tried on Tiffany wedding bands. No, we didn’t buy them for $5,000. We settled on an $80 set in Istanbul, Turkey at the oldest “mall” in the world, The Grand Bazaar. I also negotiated for a $50 Michael Kors inspired handbag because I liked it and it had lots of pockets!

Is working hard worth it?

Sometimes.

Are luxury sports cars, jewelry, and clothing worth all that hard work?

Probably not.

A great sense of style can make a thrifted outfit or Walmart jeans look smoking hot 🔥

What if we preferred to work hard to find good deals, develop a healthy body and mind, and learn about style to look rich no matter what our bank accounts show?

I hope we step toward collective wealth by eliminating overwork and suffering as a sleep deprived world.

When we get there globally, many of our other challenges will be solved simply because all of us will have time, health, and peace.