Healthy, Wellthy, Wise

Health is precious. I was reminded of our fragile biology partway through a six week around the world honeymoon adventure with my husband.

Birthplace of Aphrodite, goddess of love Cyprus near Paphos

Early in our relationship, we struggled through periodic separation for six weeks while I was first hospitalized throughout a two year period of illness associated with my initial bipolar disorder diagnosis. That history – available in Shine Bright, Seeking Daylight in the Darkness on Amazon – made this health scare at the beginning of our married life together bittersweet.

We both missed our scheduled flight from Larnaca, Cyprus to Singapore because of violent vomiting likely caused by bad seafood or nefarious manipulations of our drinks at the bar. 

I couldn’t hold anything down for long and that aggravated any ability to medicate myself successfully with the prescription treatments used to manage bipolar disorder. To further complicate proper hydration I regularly need more water than others because of my medications.

While Tony was able to rehydrate, rest, and recover independently, I needed to be admitted to the hospital for IV fluids.

Perhaps it was the loss of food and water or severe dehydration? Maybe it was PTSD from my other psychiatric hospitalizations? 

I woke up paranoid.

I didn’t know what was dripping into my veins.

I didn’t know if Tony was safe or elsewhere in the hospital sick and suffering.

I didn’t know how long I had been asleep or what day it was when I first woke up.

When the hospital staff told me to stop taking my bipolar disorder medications, I knew I needed to be discharged as quickly as possible to avoid potentially massive complications.

Tony and I were able to text, talk on the phone, and visit – this was all very different from the limited freedom I experienced in psychiatric units almost two decades ago when visitors were restricted and no cell phones were permitted. Our collaboration made it easy to communicate and form a strategy that would make both of us comfortable.

Just like my first six weeks in the hospital, I worked hard to appear sane and convince the medical director to discharge me. After all, the vomiting had stopped, I was able to enjoy two meals, and I was using the restroom which meant I had some excess fluid accumulating in my system.

Curious what they serve to eat in a European hospital? One meal was breakfast with fruit, yogurt and scrambled eggs, and the other was a very delicious moussaka with a Mediterranean salad. The food in the hospital in Cyprus was great!

Despite my progress, I needed to leave the hospital against medical advice, AMA. The hospital wanted to administer additional IV fluids without my bipolar disorder medicine.

Patients and their families are sometimes the best experts on their and their loved ones diagnosis. My husband, sister, and I know the most about my condition, and all of us understand that experimenting with medication adjustments in foreign countries without the consultation of my trusted psychiatrist is outside our comfort zone. I will make it a priority to discuss this hospitalization with my doctor during my next visit.

Tony helped me recover more comfortably from our hotel and we flew to Malaysia less than 24 hours later, yet it took several days to feel normal.

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

Four days after discharge AMA

The reality, as I see it a week later, includes a very real medical emergency that required intervention. My legitimate fear of the medical community especially in a foreign land where I don’t speak the language based on a historical threat of a 3-year commitment and their immediate decision to stop my maintenance medication. The fear of stigma because I carry the bipolar disorder membership card.

I am grateful for my training as a medical assistant because I used it to watch for clean needles and safe sanitation practices from mostly noninvasive treatments. I am thankful for family who was right by my side and ready to travel to help me if needed. I am grateful for my husband who trusts and believes in me. He knew by the sound of my voice when I was not okay and when I was. He supported me and agreed to the AMA discharge because we both knew how to gently rest, hydrate, and nourish ourselves back to health without escalating foreign hospital bills. 

I am grateful my medication levels were in a safe range, verified by lab work and we could continue our adventure!

I am grateful to be wealthy in many ways. I was born free with the ability to be, do, or have anything. I had access to an excellent education from pre-K to graduate school. I have healthy, supportive, and loving people around me. I have found true love. I had the opportunity to explore a fifth of the countries in the world. I’ve built a career to be proud of by helping people.

None of that “wealth” means anything without true wellth.

Wellness is the ultimate WELLTHY card to have, pursue, and prize. Being wellthy makes everything else possible.

When we’re sick, depressed, stressed, or overwhelmed we do not have sufficient energy to focus on our relationships, kindness, generosity, goals, or passions. We cannot enjoy a good meal, a beautiful sunset, or even deep connection with our closest loved ones when we are consumed by things that keep us unwell.

When we are too sick to be grateful for the good things that fill our lives, that sickness blocks the abundant good with a dark layer of clouds.

Those clouds prohibit us from seeing the light of hope and possibility. When I was nauseous and experiencing dry heaves, I didn’t want to continue the honeymoon – I only wanted to be well.

Wellth isn’t something we’re born with or just have. It is a decision to take great care of ourselves every day of our lives.

It is my intention to sleep adequately each night, nourish my body, mind, and spirit with good food, plenty of water, and a helpful inner monologue.

Wellth is a series of good decisions and good fortune. If suddenly taken from us, like it was stolen from me for those precious hours, it becomes our only priority.

Too many of us on this planet are suffering and some, like the Buddhist monk we spent four days with in Cambodia, believe we are meant to suffer in order to learn.

I believe we are here to experience our wildest dreams with vitality and joy. I choose to facilitate good vibes by caring for this meat suit I walk around wearing and when science discovers a new wellness initiative, I am watching and waiting to implement it. Living with a bipolar disorder diagnosis – the complications and risks associated with mental illness – I need all the extra support I can get!

As the year ends and we approach a new beginning, I wish you infinite wellth to pursue your wildest dreams!